I Just Need to Get Through...

Here’s a phrase I hear fall from the lips of just about every mother I’ve ever worked with who is navigating divorce or about to initiate one...

I just need to get through... [fill in your own excuse]

This is code for: I need to make sure everything, and everyone is taken care of before I advocate for self.

No judgement. I get that there are mitigating circumstances that are being taken into account, personal timing, events, holidays, deadlines, and lots of considerations, etc...

But where are you on that list?

There will always be a birthday, a holiday, a sporting event, a child graduating high school...you see my point. Life doesn’t stop because your marriage is falling apart.

The holidays are a biggie...which I also get. I LOVE holidays. But holidays are also a set up. Take Christmas for example: Even if that’s not your holiday, it’s hard not to get caught up in all of the triggering commercialism that always makes us feel less than if we don’t produce an event that is on par with a Hallmark Christmas movie.

It’s everywhere — the stores, the advertising, the emails, the school vacations, the twinkly lights and parties.

I want you to think back to last year. Do you remember how you felt then? Were you just trying to suck it up and get through another holiday in a miserable marriage for the sake of everyone else?

Well, here you are again. Staring down another holiday and another new year, mama.

Reality check: Divorce is a disruption of the status quo, but your status quo likely needs a shake-up.

Remember, it’s also an exhale — the release of pretending, suffocating, people-pleasing, denying, excuse-making and forgetting yourself.

Endings are also beginnings of new ways of being, feeling and creating traditions.

Part of leaning into the unknown is unknown.

So, where are you putting yourself on Santa’s List, mama? What do YOU need? It’s likely to not run yourself ragged through another holiday season only to find yourself in a pile of exhaustion — depleted and drained on the other side, beating yourself up. Is it?

I also understand that it can be difficult to see another way. We all get pretty stuck in our routines and traditions.

It’s OK if you want to give your kids another Christmas without drama but I’m going to encourage you to ask yourself, what you are going to give to yourself? And how you’re going to get through it all?

What needs honoring?

What needs nurturing and support?

Where can you show up for yourself?

How do you want to start your new year?

What’s the plan?

Call me the eternal optimist, but I’m feeling quite optimistic about 2026. Divorce or no divorce, it’s a time to see what needs to be seen and felt. It’s a time to leave behind what isn’t working and lean into what’s calling to you.

Seize this opportunity.

And I’m excited to start our group coaching program again — to get back into that sacred container of like-minded mothers who are leaning into divorcing differently and filling their own cups while saving time, money and unnecessary heartache.

Here’s something I’d like you to consider a moment...

This is the season of giving. I’m sure you have no problem giving to others (and that’s a beautiful thing) provided, you reserve room for yourself.

What if your commitment to showing up for everyone else this holiday season was followed up by...a gift to self, an investment in being supported?

What if you were to say, “I just need to get through this holiday in the best possible way for my kids...SO THAT I can step into my new coaching group in January.”

Does the prospect stir a little excitement within you?

Imagine…

• Being part of a group of women who actually ‘get you’

• Having a place where you feel safe to express what needs to be expressed

• Feeling seen, validated, understood

• Receiving support, navigational skills and proven divorce strategies to guide you step-by-step through the process

• Exhaling, healing, feeling alive again

• Trusting yourself

If this sounds good to you, consider joining Inner Circle, our signature 4-month divorce coaching program. It combines small group coaching with 1:1 sessions and support for all the life that unfolds in-between.

The women in this container are divorcing smarter, healing faster, protecting their kids and reclaiming their lives. They’re not doing it alone — they’ve joined an intimate, curated circle of mothers and expert coaching that makes what seems overwhelmingly daunting, doable. 

Maybe this idea makes you a little nervous because you’ve never done anything like this for yourself before?

Never made time for your needs.

Never advocated for yourself.

Never stood up and declared, no more! 

Never allowed yourself to dream of bigger and better.

Got any excuses swirling around and popping up as you read this? That’s OK! Those are old patterns and ways of being that no longer serve you. They likely contributed to finding yourself in this divorce to begin with.

But there’s a new mama in town and she wants to stop throwing her own needs under the bus. She realizes that ultimately serves no one — she’s looking for a new way to move through it all.

Are you ready to lean into a better experience and outcome for your divorce, saving time, money and heartache? The time is now…and it is the season of giving, mama. [Wink]

Schedule a free strategy call and let’s explore a better path to a better divorce for you.