Summer of Rebalance

Illustration of woman balancing on rocks, illustrating idea of summer of rebalance during divorce

You may never have seen it this way before, but summer can feel like the New Year. It’s full of promise and resolutions.

I’m going to take a break. I’m going to spend more time with my kids. I’m going to have fun. I’m going to be silly, let my hair down, get my toes in the sand. I’m going to indulge in self-care, work a little less. I’m going to exercise. I’m going to laugh. I’m going to catch fireflies and camp under the stars. I’m going to indulge in a good book and afternoon naps in a hammock. I’m going to see friends. I’m going to eat healthy foods and daydream. I’m going to journal and meditate and garden and make time for myself.

It feels expansive until June turns into July and July into August and the parade of broken promises roll by.

Sound remotely familiar? You’re not alone...you’re just a busy mom.

I just had a session with a mama who is feeling the overwhelm of it all in a big way. Hey, it’s overwhelming being a working mom on a good day — toss in a divorce and you’ve got a recipe for squeezing yourself right out of the equation.

...Yet again.

But this mama, with all of her moving pieces and parts, declared (through her overwhelm and upset) that this is the ‘summer of rebalance’. I loved that!

I don’t love the word ‘balance’ per se because I feel like it’s a myth, but I LOVE the intention behind it. It’s a call for recalibration and we get to do that each day when we awaken. We get to take an inventory of what we want, need and desire to move forward.

How do you define balance? We can’t define rebalance until we first declare what is out of balance.

It’s so easy as a mother to get lost in the shuffle of our family’s needs and agendas. A day — no matter how we try to squeeze it, stretch it or stuff into it — is only 24 hours long.

Are you squeezing yourself out of the equation, mama? Promising yourself you’ll get to it later?

Here are some telltale signs:

  • You’re cranky and easily triggered

  • You’re tired and feeling physically vulnerable

  • You’re getting sick a lot

  • You’re weepy

  • You feel resentment mounting

  • You’re sick of hearing yourself complain about the same things

  • You feel stuck

Does any of that resonate?

Good.

Thanks for admitting it. That’s the first step to initiating change.

Now back to your resolutions and broken promises...mid-July is just about the time you’re beginning to realize that all your promises to self have fallen by the wayside. Damn!

OK, so now what?

Regroup. Reclaim. Rebalance.

Stop setting yourself up to fail.

Maybe your vision was a bit lofty at the beginning of the summer (a girl can dream!). Let’s start setting ourselves up to win instead.

By the time a mama realizes that she has been running on empty, she may be too overwhelmed to see solutions.

Just start. Somewhere. Anywhere. Just take they tiniest step in that direction.

One thing. That’s all I’m asking for. What 1 thing could you incorporate today just for YOU? This mama mentioned exercise. She was headed somewhere for the summer with her kids where I suggested getting up for an early morning soul stroll. She lit up because it resonated.

I’m a big fan of early morning. Why? Because it sets the course of the rest of the day. When you start off your day by honoring yourself (whether that’s exercise or writing or meditating, etc.), you are sending a message to your entire nervous system and soul (not to mention, your family) — that says, I matter! My needs matter!

You do matter, mama.

And yes, that may mean letting go of something or not showing up for everyone at any given time. But if you don’t take care of yourself, eventually you will run out of steam and not be able to take care of anyone else anyway.

Summer, the New Year and any day in between can feel expansive and restorative if you claim it. Just think how good you will feel when you reinsert your needs into the picture. No broken promises to self here.

Best part: you don’t have to go anywhere, and it doesn’t have to cost you anything.

Reclaim space for yourself and witness what unfolds.

Everything shifts when we get back on solid footing, when we can calmly breathe and face the tough choices before us.

Sign yourself up for some rebalancing, mama. Doesn’t that sound like the first day of summer camp?

Can I get a hell yeah?!

 
Quote card from divorce coach Kristen Noel with the message: Everything shifts when we get back on solid footing, when we can calmly breathe and face the tough choices before us.
 

Is your life feeling out of balance? What one thing could you do to shift that? Please share in the comments below so we can continue the conversation…

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