AI Isn't Your Intuition: What ChatGPT Can't Do for Your Divorce
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I know, these days it feels like AI is inescapable, like it’s everywhere.
But...
AI isn’t your lawyer.
AI isn’t your coach.
It isn’t your voice and it’s not going to get you divorced.
It’s a search engine. It can be a tool to ask what ‘discovery’ means or to use as a filter...for example, when trying to find ways to communicate with your soon-to-be-ex...“how can I say this in a nicer way?”
But it can’t make big decisions for you — not the same way learning to trust your own intuition can. It can’t help you process or connect dots in your own personal journey. It can’t soothe you.
Divorce will come chock full of opinions and advice of others from your family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, and anyone else you open up the conversation to.
That doesn’t make their advice right for you or your kids or your life.
You know what does?
Hearing your own voice and learning to trust it.
When Everyone Else Goes Home
Bottom line: You’re the one who has to live with your choices you make when the divorce is settled and everyone else, including your lawyer, financial advisor, co-parenting counselor, coach, and even AI, goes home.
They will all go back to their businesses and lives. You will be left in the one you are creating right now.
That’s why I’m urging you to lean in and make sure that you’ve built the most solid support system around you NOW. Think of it this way...
If you were building a house, would you cut corners where it comes to the foundation, the structural beams that hold the roof above your head, the floor beneath your feet or the walls that protect you from the elements? Of course not.
Well, the same applies here.
Divorce Is Math. Harsh Math.
In many ways divorce is math, harsh math. It’s the division of assets and it comes with a price tag. But HOW You divorce informs how much it’s going to cost you and how long it’s going to take. That’s just a reality that I see played out every day.
A lawyer alone isn’t going to get you through your divorce. Your attorney is your legal sherpa.
AI alone isn’t going to get you through your divorce. It’s a resource.
Your old mindset isn’t going to get you through your divorce. Because you can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.
You know what will? Getting calm, clear, grounded. Having a plan. Trusting your own voice and building a framework to reinforce this.
Like it or not, you’re going to need to build a solid house of support around you to yield the best outcomes. Ignoring a problem doesn’t make the problem go away, in fact it allows it to intensify.
Most people have no idea how long a divorce process can and likely will take. Of course, there are so many mitigating circumstances but divorces derail because feuding spouses allow it to.
Seeking revenge and needing to be ‘right’ come with a price tag. Freedom is priceless. Which are you aiming for?
Sadly, the system isn’t set up for resolution. That’s up to you and your soon-to-be-ex, no matter how contentious the divorce may be.
I know it’s overwhelming to think that you need to build a team around you at a time where you are feeling uncertain by every move you make. But that doesn’t change the reality of what’s at stake and why you need to get this right.
Back to AI...
So, Can ChatGPT Help With Your Divorce?
Maybe I’m old school, but I’m not a huge fan. Of course, I get the instant gratification of tapping into the information highway. I see how it can be a valuable tool, but it can’t replace the divorce coaching industry. It can’t replace having someone at your side who has walked in your shoes. It can’t replace the advisement of someone who’s guided hundreds of mothers navigating the messiness of divorce.
If you’re a working mom, you’ve likely used AI in your work…but I have a question for you. Are you now trying to apply it to your divorce?
Are you thinking it will provide a good strategy?
Scripts for tough conversations?
Lessen your legal bills?
Keep you company?
Chances are that it won’t. It may even harm you. You’ll still need to run legal moves by your attorney. You’ll still need to check in with yourself before taking action with your spouse, your kids, your extended family, etc. You’ll still need strategies that are resonant with your situation and needs.
Human beings aren’t cookie cutter and neither will be your divorce strategies. No two divorces are alike no matter what similarities they may share.
Sure, you can try to ask AI questions like:
How do I explain this to my kids?
How do I trust the decisions I need to make?
How do I navigate the tough conversations and triggering exchanges?
What do I do with all those big feelings?
How can I divorce smarter, heal faster, protect my kids and reclaim my life?
But AI doesn’t know you, your kids, or your ex. It can’t hold your hand. It can’t provide community. It’s a research engine, not a support pillow.
The Trap That Feels Like Progress
And AI can come with a trap: Gathering information can feel like progress, but it’s not. Decisions and actions are what move you forward, not more research.
The divorce process will add a lot to your plate and take up a lot of time. The last thing you need is to get caught in the weeds. Getting caught in the weeds is costly both to your bank account and your spirit.
Remember, your kids will only be this age once. You don’t get to reclaim this time in your life, and you don’t have to put it on hold because you are divorcing.
There’s so much that comes up during divorce and there are times for research, facts and figures. But your life isn’t a statistic on a chart.
You can’t call it when you need a shoulder to cry on or to process emotions.
It doesn’t know your old patterns and default settings.
It doesn’t know about your past or your wounding.
It doesn’t know what triggers you.
It doesn’t know that your ex may be a narcissist or gaslighting you.
It can’t identify the parental alienation that may be playing out.
It can’t calm your nervous system or help you enforce boundaries under pressure.
It can’t help you lean into your intuition to guide you.
It can’t help you heal.
It can do many useful things but thinking that you can rely solely upon a lawyer and AI isn’t going to yield the best outcomes.
Let Your Intuition Make the Final Call
There’s so much life that unfolds in the ‘in-between’ moments of divorce — the moments between meetings with your lawyer, completing your discovery, and strategizing about your path forward. What’s in-between is you, your kids and your life.
Yes, you’ll likely need your team to prop you back up when you wobble. I often refer to this as the scaffolding you erect around yourself during the remodeling of your life. The stronger the support, the more secure you feel.
You want to be standing on a solid foundation. You want to embody the energy of a CEO and make the final decisions because this is your life. Let your team advise you but let your intuition make the ultimate call.
Divorce or no divorce, when we learn to move through life checking in with ourselves, we can make aligned decisions. We can feel its truth. We can be eased by its peace. We can avoid chaos and dysfunction. We can trust and become who we were meant to be and model this for our children.
Nope, AI isn’t your intuition. I’d spend more time tapping into your own GPS than someone else’s.
