Go Ahead, Call Me from Your Car
“Sorry, I’m calling from my car.”
I can’t begin to tell you how many mamas log into sessions with me or our coaching classes from their cars — which I now refer to as their mobile offices, she sheds or privacy pods. Thank God for mobile technology!
But when I see a woman calling from her car...I know she’s ready to go.
It always makes me laugh and sigh because I get it. Sometimes the car is the only safe space to escape the demands of life, spouses, co-workers, kids, interruptions and big ears — and to create any semblance of privacy.
Hey, a mama’s got to do what a mama’s gotta do.
I always commend them for showing up...not for me...but for themselves — and for finding a way to honor themselves by making this time — even if that means getting in the car and driving someplace where they can be alone.
I know it’s not easy. There are many pulls for mamas on any given day and for most of us, we’ve allowed it with our “I am woman hear me roar” playing in the background.
Working moms, juggling households, kids, soccer practice, getting dinner on the table and now a divorce, don’t typically have a lot of extra space in their lives for themselves. Their ‘me time’ is usually non-existent. No, they’ve typically been elbowed out and their needs along with them.
But when a woman knows that she needs out of a marriage, she also knows it’s time to heal and there’s no turning back.
Even if she doesn’t know HOW, she finds a way.
I remember one mama who was nervous, distraught and in tears on our initial call. I’ll never forget how scared she was trying to figure out next steps, but how certain she was that she wasn’t going back.
I also know where she landed — in a relatively non-contentious divorce, happy kids living in her own new place, thriving business...oh, and did I mention new love interest?
Yes, life shifts when you shift and take a bold step on behalf of your intuition and gut.
I’ve had so many initial sessions where mamas call me from their cars distraught and in tears trying to figure out next steps. And that tells me they are ready. They are ready to stop making excuses, stop denying what the know, stop pretending that it’s OK or enough and that they can hang in there and make it work.
And as I listen, I lean in and want to scoop them up in my mama bear arms — ready to dive in and help them.
I know they are suffocating in their current circumstances and can’t take it any longer. Maybe you can relate? Do you feel like you are climbing the walls trying to find some space for yourself?
It happens in so many ways:
Controlling spouses who want to dictate everything (maybe they even have a family tracker on your phone or car?)
Deadbeat spouses who don’t work but follow you around
Helpless spouses who act as if they can’t take care of anything
Jealous or paranoid spouses who need to know everything at all times
Not to mention the regular pulls of keeping a household together, shuttling your kids around, trying to be present with them
And where exactly can you squeeze some self-care into the mix?
If any of the above rings true, the answer is likely nowhere — until you create it and reinsert yourself back into the picture. Until you start honoring your needs, your desires and yourself.
It starts with setting a boundary: I need some alone time. I need some privacy. I need some help from the rest of you. I need to go for a drive.
What do you need, mama?
Start by getting clear on that AND then lean into it.
You don’t have to have the roadmap with all the details outlined. You just need to know that you are ready to shift the narrative of your life. And btw, you are casting yourself in a starring role because YOU matter.
Don’t allow the emotions that led to you arriving here, keep you here feeling stuck, dismissed and depleted. This needn’t be your permanent destination, mama. As I tell mamas all the time, “This is temporary, but it can’t be ignored.”
This car won’t drive itself.
How would it feel to be considered back in the equation?
How would it feel to have someone walk beside you as you untangle from this dysfunction? How would it feel to have someone guide you, witness you and reflect back your potential?
I imagine it might feel like a stretch in this moment, but the only thing that stands between you and reaching for this new version of yourself is taking a step, picking up that phone, declaring what you desire.
Remember, when there is a will there’s a way.
When you know you can no longer stay in the status quo, when you feel like you are drowning in your own life, when you see yourself and your kids shrinking — you know it’s time. Ask yourself what is holding you back and get out in front of those excuses.
As Mary Oliver famously stated, “Tell me what you are going to do with your one wild and precious life?”
Go ahead mama, give me a call from your car. You won’t be the first and certainly not the last, but I can’t wait to meet you in your mobile office.
It all starts here.
I promise.
Book a free divorce strategy session with our team and let’s begin this journey of a better divorce together.
Do you find it hard to carve out “me” space in your life? Tell me about it in the comments below…I’d love to hear!