Ditch the Resolutions
Something tells me that the last thing you need is another thing on your plate.
And for all my people-pleasing, peacekeeping, sacrificing mamas out there — you’ve likely already put yourself through the ringer this holiday season.
Am I right?
Are you feeling exhausted, depleted, unrecognized and like you are coming undone?
OK, good.
Let’s roll up our sleeves and focus on YOU (yes, YOU) for a moment.
First off, let’s ditch the resolutions. Phew.
Now that that’s off the table...
There’s a part of me that wants to run for cover when it comes time to sit down and make all kinds of declarations about where I’m going, what I’m leaving behind, what I’m stepping into in the new year, what’s my ‘word’, where’s my vision board, etc.
...And then there is a part of me that totally wants to get on board with all of it.
But what if I gave you a permission slip to skip right over the resolutions this year? Yep, you read that correctly.
If you slip up or make a move that isn’t working out — you pivot and make a new one. Sometimes resolutions can feel like a set-up...setting yourself up to fail.
Now there’s a distinction between hiding from your feelings and over-committing to a list that just isn’t attainable in this moment or that needs to be incredibly flexible.
Your year won’t go down the tubes because January 1st didn’t go off as planned. What if I told you that every day is a new year, a new clean slate to make more empowered, heart-centered and intuitive choices that are aligned with who you truly are at your core?
Doesn’t that come as a breath of fresh air? Seeeee...you haven’t missed the boat!
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that there is anything wrong with resolutions...provided they resonate with you and provided they don’t derail you. Anything that helps you move the needle in the non-judgmental self-awareness and self-care /self-motivation department is a win/win in my Best Self book.
And I’m not advising you to just ‘wing’ the new year, sitting around waiting for magical unicorns to arrive and sprinkle stardust about making everything OK (least of all in your divorce).
As nice as that may sound, we have to participate in formulating the solution.
It’s easy to get all revved up and ready to go and then get detoured. Life. Holidays. Divorce. Emotions. Unhealed trauma. Being pulled in a hundred directions at once. Mothering. Work. It all gets in the way.
The reason we usually fail with our string of broken promises is that we try to go from A to Z with nothing in between. We set our aspirations to an unsustainable level right out of the gate.
Want to know what the top 5 resolutions are? Eat healthier, exercise more, lose weight, save more money, spend more time with family.
The bottom line is that we all actually already know what we need. You know if you need to eat better quality food, move your body more, sit in stillness, meditate, create, lean in or lean out. You don’t actually need anyone to tell you — you just need to learn to reconnect with this part of yourself...and then listen.
You need to honor yourself and make time in that 24-hour span for YOU.
Think of it as baby steps and building blocks. Start small. Set yourself up to win and languish in that. I promise when you start to feel the sweetness of success, you’ll get pumped up and hungry for more. That’s how we create lasting momentum in our lives.
It’s not about the grand sweeping dramatic gestures, it’s about the slow, steady, consistent and intuitive ones.
I want to remind you that no matter how your year gets off to a start, no matter how bumpy, how many twists and turns — you can still shift it in the direction you choose and get back on track. Your new year can start today, or tomorrow or the next.
If resolutions, words, journaling, new commitments and promises to self, work for you...great! If not, don’t worry. Just find ‘your’ thing — the action that will support you — and build upon it.
I’d invite you to consider how you want to feel in your body, home and life. What are the words you’d use to describe that? Healthy, calm, safe, stable, inspired, at peace, playful, joyful, creative, abundant. Do any of those resonate?
Focus on the feeling and less about the lists.
For example, if you want to feel ease, peace, joy, whimsical, alive — what actions could you take to support that?
Tell me how you want to feel and then tell me how you can support those feelings.
I work with mamas to help them untangle those weeds and become masterful gardeners of their own lives. I can’t even begin to tell you how powerful it is to witness another woman reconnect to herself — and to remember the woman that got buried away. It’s a divine slice of grace.
Sometimes we each need to be reminded of who we are. It’s easy to get lost in life, but we can find our way home again.
Through our pain and darkness, there is discovery and freedom...and you don’t need resolutions to get there — you need to reactivate your intuitive self so you can trust in the moves you make...and grant yourself permission to do so.
In the meantime, here is your official permission slip to ditch the resolutions and do it differently this year — to march to the beat of your own intuitive self.
You don’t need resolutions, mama...you need to follow your intuition.
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Are you ready to approach divorce more intuitively? Strategically? Calmly? Book a free divorce strategy session and let’s map out a better path for you.
How do you feel about resolutions? Please share in the comments below…I’d love to hear and keep the conversation going.