Mother’s Day & Divorce

Holidays can feel hard and anything but festive when life is upside down and all over the place and you feel like you are walking on eggshells.

Whether you’re just contemplating divorce or are in the midst of negotiations, or are already living separately and experiencing your first Mother’s Day alone — it’s easy to take a pass and pretend it doesn’t matter.  

But hold on a minute...we’re talking Mother’s Day here!

Your day.

Don’t let anyone rain on your parade, mama — ever again.

You know for most women, when they recount the single most important event in their lives — it’s the day they became a mother. And that’s worthy of celebration no matter what.

Whether you physically carried that baby in your body and birthed those children or you planned, strategized and adopted them — being a mother transcends biology, it’s all about heart and the enormous capacity to love.

Mother’s Day isn’t about Hallmark greeting cards, flowers, presents and spa appointments (though bring it on!)— it’s about celebrating this beautiful life adventure in all of its incarnations.

Mothers are magnificent, divine, magical beings that create life. They are heroines.

They may have played supporting roles in their family units and not taken up all the oxygen and accolades, but they are the foundation. They never give up. Never walk away and are always trying to figure out how to help, nurture and protect their children.

And without them, everything would crumble.

Heroines become heroines because they take courageous steps into unknown territory and carve out their own paths. 

If you are staring down divorce, it’s because you finally said, ENOUGH! I can no longer deny what I see and feel. I’ve had enough of this, and it stops here.

That doesn’t mean it’s easy or comfortable or comes with a roadmap and guarantees. But it does come accompanying something even more precious — your fierce mama bear intuition that you have recently reacquainted yourself with.

So, if you are not feeling ‘festive’ this year in the way that you usually are — give yourself a pass. Allow yourself to show up in any way you want. And please consider how you could support yourself to get back on track.

Do you need some alone time?

Some rest?

Some nourishing food?

Some connection to nature or your creativity?

Some dancing around acting silly?

Some prayer or meditation?

Some movement?

Some nothing?

What do you need, mama? (Yes, you get to have needs!)

Remember you are modeling for your children right now. They are soaking it all up — so many valuable life lessons are unfolding about navigating adversity, taking care of self, allowing needs, making feelings safe, calming chaos internally and externally and finding beauty along the way. That is the fullness of this human experience.

There is wisdom in reconnecting to yourself, your intuition — listening and supporting yourself. I know this resonates with you because you are taking courageous steps to find the pieces of yourself that were lost along the way.

Give yourself a break. Celebrate your strength, courage and heart in whatever way resonates best with you. Just celebrate!

Allow yourself to make your day meaningful. I don’t sit around and wait for people to design my birthday. I don’t set people up to disappoint me. Why not take a page from my playbook here. Seize your day. Breathe into your own self-care, declare what would feel good — and buy yourself flowers!

Divorce is temporary, being a mama isn’t. Make this day about that. Allow your kids to celebrate you. Allow yourself to celebrate too!

Seize your day in any way that you can and know that I am cheering you on and wrapping my mama bear arms around you.