Walk Down a New Street
Hey mamas, I felt called to share something with you we shared in class recently that was really powerful. It's a poem that has meant a lot to me throughout my life. I discovered this as a young woman, and had no idea how relevant it would be throughout all the chapters and all the experiences and all the events and all the feelings and all the evolution of my life. It spoke to me then and it still speaks to me now, divorce or no divorce. I was grateful to stumble upon it again.
So, how could I not share it with you dear, mamas?
This is an invitation to have you come and sit with me for just a couple of minutes. Can you spare that for yourself? I promise it’ll feed your soul and fill your cup. And in the spirit of doing so, I'm also going to encourage you to find a place where you can shut out the noise of the world and indulge in this.
Maybe you can find a place where you can just sit for five minutes in stillness, ground your feet, calm your nervous system, exhale — and take in these words. Pay attention to how your body feels and what comes up for you (no judgment). This is a quick way to recalibrate and connect differently to your nervous system.
Autobiography In Five Chapters
by Portia Nelson
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I'm lost...I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two
I walk down the same street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it's there.
I still fall in...It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down another street.
Oh, let's just breathe that in for a second.
I walk down another street.
You know, whether in divorce or in life, we can all get stuck in our heads, especially when dealing with adversity of any kind. And when we get stuck in our heads, we get stuck in our thoughts. We keep repeating the same things over and over again. We walk down the same street, and we fall into the same hole, and we have the same reaction...and we beat ourselves up. Rinse and repeat.
It's easy to see how that happens. So, I want to leave you with a little nugget of support during this really difficult moment of divorce where you are feeling vulnerable and uncertain and anxious and maybe filled with stress up to your eyeballs. Maybe you’re filled with grief, maybe sorrow. Maybe rage. Maybe all of it. Regardless, the gameboard of your life has been tipped over.
But guess what?
Even in this state of disempowerment, the one thing that you can take agency over is your thoughts. So, I'm inviting you to pay attention to what you are thinking and how you are feeling, what is coming up, what is repeating over and over. See it. And ask yourself if there is a place in your life where you can walk down a new street — a place where you stand at the precipice of change and choice?
What is that street...what does it look like...how does it feel...where is it leading you? Hey, this is your life chapter to design.
There are a lot of things you don't control, right now, but what you do control is creating capacity for yourself to heal. To ground yourself. To take care of yourself and support yourself through this divorce journey — so that you can support your children, the tough conversations, the big decisions, and your nervous system. And most of all you, mama — because YOU matter.
I am wrapping my big, fierce mama bear arms around you and hoping that you can lean into some of this self-reflection, action and self-awareness — and allow yourself to be worthy to receive and make a different choice, allow yourself to think a different thought, and create a new chapter and be a new you that is walking down another street.
I'm just going to leave you with that beautiful sentiment today — allow it to embrace you like a delicious, warm, cozy blanket. May it soothe your soul and spark your spirit.
Is it time to walk down another street, mama?