Back to School...Back to Divorce...Back to YOU
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Can you feel it?
The back-to-school energy has descended upon us, like it or not.
The tides of change are here. It’s definitely more dramatic in climates like mine where the natural world around me is making sure I got the memo (even though I no longer have kids boarding school buses or lunchboxes to pack).
However, it’s undeniable. Summer is slipping through my fingers, and I feel the shift.
I bet you do too, mama.
For some, it’s more bittersweet than others. Truthfully, I need a little prodding when it comes to transition in seasons of weather and life. Maybe you can relate.
Knowing the women in this group, you may be feeling a mixed bag of emotions; a bit frazzled and worn out from taking care of everyone, their agendas and the frenetic (yet fun) pace of summer — and both a mix of anticipation; the comfort and order of routine — and the dread of having to face the current realities of your life....
Your divorce. Oh yeah, back to school, back to divorce.
Back to School, Back to Divorce...Back to YOU
I’m going to invite you to see this as an invitation to get back to YOU. I bet there hasn’t been a lot of that going on lately.
You see, a mother who is divorce curious may yet again shove her needs to the bottom of the laundry basket while having her kids home for summer break — adding yet another complication to her already full plate.
A mother who is already in the process may feel guilty about how she’s showing up or not showing up for her kids, her divorce proceedings, her work — and forget about herself.
Let’s just start by cutting ourselves some slack, ladies...can we?
Running yourself ragged won’t serve anyone. Remember life and seasons move at their own pace and that pace can ebb and flow, shift and change. Don’t fight the wave, ride it.
Maybe you’ve been doing this already. Maybe you’ve been pushing things off. Maybe it’s time to get back to those big feelings you’ve been juggling and shoving to the side.
Maybe you’ve told yourself things like, I’ll get to this later, when the kids are back in school, when I have more time, when unicorns land in my kitchen to assist me. Ha. You get the picture.
No, the cavalry isn’t coming to save you. It’s time to save yourself. To declare what you need, what you can no longer tolerate and what you desire for the future for you and your kids.
And maybe you can remind yourself that it won’t be perfect.
The Elephant in the Room Isn't Going Anywhere
Recently, one of my mamas hit a roadblock. She had been moving along until it came to handling certain paperwork from her attorney. Dealing with that felt paralyzing — to the point that she allowed it to sit there. And sitting there only made her feel worse about herself. It wasn’t going to magically answer itself.
I challenged her to connect to her own feelings about it — what was blocking her, how she would feel if she didn’t get through it — and better yet, how she would feel when this was behind her. I asked her to view this as a step moving her closer to freedom.
Suffice it to say, we got her through it! And she is no different than you feeling all the feels.
Divorce is a time of getting real — with how you feel, what you can tolerate, what you are afraid of, what you can control, what needs to be dealt with, what needs to be healed — and where you want it all to lead.
Ignoring the elephant in the room, doesn’t make the elephant go away!
What are you hiding?
What are you denying?
What are you pretending you don’t see?
Give yourself some grace these next few weeks as you reorder your household and life. Allow yourself to ease back into the new energy of Fall that is upon us. Harness the power of back-to-school energy. How could you allow this to work for you instead of against you?
Harness the Energy, Don't Fight It
Divorce aside, I allow myself to be a bit of a butterfly during the summer. What do I mean by that? I’m a little less regimented, more impulsive and flexible — less focused on productivity and deadlines. I allow myself to wander about through my little town, stopping to have conversations or to pop into a shop to look around. Sometimes we eat dinner later and languish on the back porch listening to the sounds of summer. It fills my soul and feeds me.
But I also know that I will embrace a new energy in the fall; one that is more productive and getting down to business. Life is full of emotional seasons that need to be honored, mama.
Back-to-school means more routine in the household, but it could also mean more time for self-care, getting clear on your objectives, following up on divorce details and utilizing this time and space for setting your intentions for what you want ahead.
Trust the Process, Trust Your Timing
There is great wisdom in knowing what you need at any given moment and trusting that. And great discernment in moving at your own pace and the pace of the outer world around you. When you can lean into your intuition that may be telling you to take a nap or run off with a few girlfriends to the beach for a few days — go for it, try to make it happen in whatever big ways or small that you can.
Maybe you can focus on these last days of summer with your kids with a new sense of whimsy? One mom recently told me about a bucket list of simple summer activities she and her young daughter crafted together for the last week before school. Find what works for you.
Most of all, give yourself a break during this time and remind yourself that this phase of your life is temporary. Next summer won’t look and feel like this. You will be on the other side of your divorce and entrenched in your new life.
Life can feel heavy and hard, but we can also be kind and nurturing of self as we navigate it.
So yes, the tides of change are upon us all bringing some circumstances we cannot control along with them — just like life and divorce. It’s OK to feel sentimental about letting something go while still eagerly stepping into a new chapter, even if on wobbly legs.
What could that look like for you, mama? Where could you embrace the tides of change upon you and trust that you are ready for your next steps?
Could you give yourself the grace to realize that maybe you’ve been putting a lot of pressure on yourself unnecessarily? Trust life. Trust the process. Trust the timing and most of all trust your intuition.
There is a better path to a better divorce. It’s not all about legal docs, the division of assets and custody battles — it’s about everything that unfolds in between — your life, your opportunity for healing, your chance to reclaim the lost pieces and parts of yourself and feel alive again.
You can do this all simultaneously. In fact, it’s strategic. That’s an Intuitive Divorce.
Back-to-school, back to divorce...back to YOU.
