Bent Not Broken

There’s no denying that a walk through the woods, forest bathing in nature, is medicine for an aching soul. It’s an instant reset — soothing the nervous system, calming breath and reminding us that there are mighty forces that surround us that have stood the test of time and survived the storms of life.

You are no different, mama. And you too will survive this storm of yours, this divorce — and you will continue to grow.

The question is: in what condition?

Yes, I know you may be feeling totally shaken, rattled and rolled like a storm just rolled through your house. Maybe you are distraught and broken, enraged, anxiety-ridden, fearful, isolated and alone in a puddle of tears — maybe all of it.

You are in the midst of powerful transformation and that’s what growth looks and feels like. Think childbirth...there’s no turning back now.

But you’ve got this.

Whether you initiated this divorce or had it dumped in your lap — something needed to shift. And whether you feel ready or not — you are.

And trust me, I don’t say those words lightly. Viewing divorce through this lens is not about rainbows and unicorns (though a little magical thinking never hurt anyone). It’s actually strategic.

So back to my mighty trees and your aching heart and soul...

I’ll never forget walking through the yard of the sweet little house I purchased in the aftermath of my own life destruction. Truth be told, though taking bold steps...I was terrified by it all — certain it would all come crumbling down again any second.

It didn’t (and btw, I still live in that sweet little house).

As my dad and I walked through the yard he casually commented on a tree on the edge of the property that years before had been almost fully pulled from the ground and toppled over. BUT it held on.

And you know what happened? It continued to grow. It’s root system grew sturdier and though its trunk was almost parallel to the ground, its branches grew straight for the sky and practically became trees of their own.

Bent not broken, she found a miraculous way to keep growing. The moment I saw her I knew she was my totem to keep going. I named her my Tree of Hope.

So, when dad flippantly remarked, “This one has to go.” I immediately jumped to her defense and responded, “NEVER.”

And for the past twenty years I have tended to her and honored her resilience and thanked her for her inspiration. We now have history — 20 years together. I smile when I walk by her remembering the little boy who grew up beneath her and climbed on her back dangling his little legs from her to the grass below.

Together we have weathered seasons and storms.

She had endured a fierce hurricane like you and your divorce. No, life didn’t look or feel the same in the aftermath, but that didn’t mean it was bleak and that there would never be joy and beautiful new chapters ahead.

Divorce is a life storm. And we can survive storms, mama.

My biggest advice for mamas navigating these tricky waters:

Hold on (you’ve got roots too)

Breathe

Be still

Listen to what needs to be heard

Believe you are worthy

Keep the faith

Calm your nervous system

Care for yourself

Be more present with your kids

Keep your divorce on track

Live

Love

Laugh (yes, even now)

Allow your wisdom to emerge. Maybe you’ve been denying it. Maybe you’ve been pretending. Maybe you’ve lost pieces and parts of yourself along the way.

There isn’t just one way to grow or divorce, but there is a way to heal in this destruction. It’s called an Intuitive Divorce. It’s a holistic approach to building a solid foundation beneath you so that you can save time, money and heartache — and show up for the big decisions, tough conversations with your ex and your kids — and the rebuilding of your beautiful next chapter.

Doesn’t that sound like a better way?

Like the beautiful trees surrounding you, there is a whole ecosystem beneath the soil growing, holding on, expanding, connecting.

Yes, you may feel bent, but you are not broken.

Deep breathe.

Ready to find your way? Maybe start by taking a walk in a forest today or curling up beneath a big old sturdy tree. Close your eyes and listen. What do you hear?

She’s whispering, “It’s all going to be OK.”

Take charge of your life mama so you can model for your children what navigating life adversity looks like, so you can come back to yourself, and you can create the life you are worthy of.

Come sit with me. I’ve got you.