Blinders Off
Do you feel like you are suffocating in the status quo right now...kind of squirming in your own skin, unable to get comfortable?
Maybe it’s time to listen.
When we are in discomfort in any way — body, mind or spirit — it’s a call to lean in and listen to what needs to be heard.
And maybe it’s time to take the blinders off, mama...
...to stop pretending that you’ve got this under control, that you can handle it all and that you can continue denying what you feel, see and know to be true. The reality is: that’s a lot to carry around. Besides, the truth will eventually find its way out one way or another.
It can only be contained for so long. I’d start by asking yourself why you’re trying to contain it anyway. How can you possibly be benefitting from denial? That’s the voice of fear whispering in your ear.
But fear keeps us stuck exactly where we don’t want to be. Remember, FEAR is an acronym for false evidence appearing real. It falsely tells us that the unknown is worse than the known. It falsely tells us we can’t handle the truth.
It can be paralyzing and stop us in our tracks just as we begin to create momentum in the direction we desire.
Hey, it’s OK to acknowledge discomfort. It’s OK to admit you are scared and it’s equally as important to speak your truths...
You want out.
You want more.
You want to feel alive again.
You want to feel like you.
But you don’t know how and this version of you may feel far away.
That’s understandable because if you’re in this community, you’re likely well-versed in keeping the peace, caretaking, attending to the needs of everyone else and pasting on a smile as you do it. And let’s not forget about making excuses for the bad behavior of others.
However, showing up in life isn’t about being something or someone you aren’t. It isn’t about squeezing yourself into a box you don’t fit in or accepting a role in the narrative of someone else’s story and losing yourself. It’s about writing your own.
And the dirty little secret is that you have needs too, mama! Oh, and btw, that doesn’t make you selfish.
So many women have become adept at convincing themselves that they have to show up a certain way, be a certain way, feel a certain way...and yet they are shrinking on the inside.
The longer we practice this, normalize it and make it routine, the further we dull ourselves, the greater the distance becomes between us and the truth of who we are, what we are capable of and all the possibility that lies ahead.
And I get how this may all sound great in theory, but it also feels like having to learn a new language. It kind of is.
I remind the mamas I work with all the time that they are flexing new muscles, and they need to have compassion and grace for this process. Think of it as rewiring an old house, upgrading to create clear pathways that are solid, safe and grounded.
The needs of so many mamas fall to the bottom of the laundry basket far too easily...and there they remain — until something in that pressure cooker gives. And oh boy, that’s usually ugly!
We confuse love with sacrificing ourselves on the altar of motherhood. We confuse depleting ourselves as love. We confuse hiding our pain as noble love. But love is truth.
Is this how you want to model love for your kids?
Of course not! But if we want emotionally healthy kids, we have to highlight the path to get there — and what better way than by walking the walk ourselves?
What if you were simply to start by acknowledging your truth?
What if you just allowed yourself to exhale and stop pretending?
What if you could take off the blinders and see your life through a new lens?
And what if you could believe that even if you don’t have all the answers, even if you don’t know what steps to take first, even if you are feeling really vulnerable and scared — you could still acknowledge that you are worthy of your desires, wants and needs?
Because you are...and your intuition is beckoning...actually banging pots and pans to get your attention.
And did you know that listening to your intuition is radical self-care?
As anyone who has worked with me knows, I love to point out how two truths can co-exist. You can still want to leave an unhealthy marriage and be a good person. You can feel pain and you can heal. You can end something and begin another.
Are you ready to take off those blinders, mama, that have kept you feeling trapped?
The journey through an intuitive divorce is one that helps you reclaim yourself. It reminds you that your voice matters — and how you divorce and the condition you are in while navigating it, matters for you and your kids.
It’s about healing, revealing and becoming. It’s also about untangling in a manner that you can feel good about. It’s strategic and will provide you with tools to divorce differently and to save time, money and heartache.
Blinders off, mama. There’s a whole other big, beautiful world awaiting you on the other side of this pain...I promise.
What truth have you hidden away or pretended not to see? Please share in the comments below and let’s continue the conversation…