Leftovers & Divorce
Admittedly, I’ve never been a big fan of leftovers...but that’s likely because growing up in my childhood home meals got recirculated for days and nothing ever tasted the same...or as good.
Yesterday I cleaned out my refrigerator after days of house guests and holidays, getting rid of small remnants that I knew would never get used — and made space for fresh produce.
The notion of ‘leftovers’ had me thinking of you, mama and your divorce process.
I wanted to check in here today, after the holidays which may have been triggering emotionally for you — to encourage you to consider, what is left over for you?
Have you been scurrying about to salvage some semblance of normalcy for you and your kids during the holidays?
Have you lost yourself in the busyness of the season, trying to hide away your pain?
Have you left yourself depleted and drained because you can only sustain so much, take so much, do so much, pretend so much?
No amount of shimmery holiday wrapping paper is big enough to hide beneath. And the reality is that this is often the time that mamas lose their you-know-what!
From the outside looking in, it’s easy to understand. But when you are stuck in the seemingly perpetual spin cycle of your life it becomes ‘business as usual’ with no way out.
But you can only put up this façade for so long. No matter what others are expecting from you — your children, your spouse, your family and friends, your co-workers and community, your religious leaders, etc. — hear me when I say, you need to show up for self, first.
Yes, you need to put on your oxygen mask before you try to help anyone else.
It’s why so many mothers come unraveled during the holidays, and in the divorce industry, why business ramps up. Precisely at a time when you need less on your plate, you are expected to take on more. It’s easy to see how we stand upon the threshold of what is known as ‘divorce season’.
Whatever lead you to this moment, a space where you feel like you are crawling out of your skin — is an indicator that you can no longer unsee what you see, feel and know.
Maybe you are heartbroken or maybe you can’t get out fast enough or maybe it’s a combo of the two — the bottom line is that life is shifting beneath your feet...and you along with it.
But that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.
No matter what contributed to your landing at this point, no matter how uncertain or worried and fearful you may become — I just want you to remember your WHY.
What lead you to feeling the feelings you are navigating? You can’t pretend those realities away — and if you try, you will only find yourself back here once again. And this time, kicking yourself for taking so long or wasting more time.
Now before you go down that path, I want to acknowledge that divorce is a big decision — and it isn’t easy — but neither is living in an unhealthy relationship and modeling dysfunction to your kids while you shrink for years on end.
We never take divorce lightly, but we also want women to take agency over their own lives.
Your life shouldn’t be comprised of leftovers...
You deserve a full plate. You deserve to be empowered, aligned with your intuition, to be curious, joyful, vibrant and alive. Life is flavorful — savory and sweet, tender and bold, quiet and adventurous.
And I get how overwhelming it may feel to be staring down a divorce or having just initiated one. I remember it well. I once stood exactly where you stand — and boy do I wish I knew then what I know now — and the process I guide mamas through.
It’s OK to be afraid of it all — what the future will look like, what you will be left with, the condition your kids will be in. You are afraid because you care deeply, and this is new territory and like learning a new language.
But here’s the good news: We can harness the power of that fear to guide us where we want to go, to mitigate our suffering and take charge of our own fate. Doesn’t that sound like a better way to go?
Don’t deny your pain or suffering or fear. Don’t judge yourself. Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t deprive yourself or the world of being YOU.
Could you provide yourself with a little grace?
Could you allow yourself to say Yes or No to things that feed you or drain you?
Could you create space to heal old wounds?
Could you pat yourself on the back for all the ‘right’ turns you’ve made in your life?
Could you see your strengths not just your weaknesses?
Could you own your worthiness and get on with writing a new chapter already?!
And could you take control over your own life buffet and what you are choosing to put on your plate?
I hope we’ve got a bunch of Hell yeses to the above!
You don’t need to know HOW you are going to do this, just that you are ready.
If you are ready to be seen, heard, validated — if you are ready to break free from unhealthy patterns, a toxic relationship and anything else that has held you back in your life — it’s time to do it all differently.
If you care about the condition you and your kids are in during the divorce and beyond — if you are looking for intuitive, heart-centered solutions and strategy to impart lasting transformation — to save time, money and heartache...
Grab your plate mama. You deserve to be at this party! No leftovers for you!!!
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Want strategic and emotional guidance through your divorce journey? Book a free Divorce Strategy Session and let’s talk.
What’s your WHY for being here now? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below…