The Cost of Divorce

Hundred dollar bills on white background, illustrating idea of the cost of divorce

Divorce is expensive and don’t let anyone tell you any differently.

I know that’s the last thing you want to hear, but to some degree you already know that — so, why beat around the bush?

You’ve likely never been down this path before, so you might be stunned at the retainer fee your attorney will present you with — or the subsequent bills that will come your way. Sigh.

I remember how it initially took my breath away, but I also remember feeling like I didn’t have a choice. I had to figure this out and find the funds — and I needed an attorney to find my way out of this mess I had gotten myself into.

Whether I realized it at the time, I was also worthy of the investment. My freedom, happiness, health and peace were priceless.

When a woman finally stands up and declares she needs out, there’s no turning back and she’ll get resourceful.

But brace yourself, because whatever that staggering number your lawyer initially presents may be...be prepared to double, triple, quadruple it ...or worse. It’s just a harsh reality that doesn’t end there if you don’t take a proactive role in your divorce and invest in yourself.

Sadly for me, I didn’t even know at the time that I had a choice in the matter. But I did and it was a missed opportunity.

But it doesn’t have to be that way for YOU.

It’s hard to see this at the beginning, but as I say over and over and over again — HOW you divorce matters.

  • How you are supported, matters.

  • The condition you are in while making these big decisions, matters.

  • Feeling in alignment with your attorney, matters.

  • Seeing yourself as worthy of investment, matters.

  • Being heard, matters.

  • Getting grounded, aligned with your intuition and heart, and activating your inner CEO, matters.

In fact, you need to call on your inner CEO, CFO and Mama Badass now more than ever! (and btw, that doesn’t mean you have to have a law degree or a financial license or be a therapist. It means you need to know if a decision or strategy is aligned with your heart — and something you can live with).

What most divorce lawyers don’t tell you is that they’ll meet with you for a consultation, slide a retainer agreement for you to sign across their desk, collect your money and toss you a hefty package of paperwork to fill out.

I’m certainly not dissing lawyers and God knows you don’t want to try to navigate this without one. But they alone are not going to get you across the finish line.

There will be A LOT of in-between moments when you are trying to figure out what to say to your kids when you are coming unraveled, when your ex triggers you, when the opinions of others knock you over, when you get your feelings hurt and want to hide beneath the covers — and it all just feels like too much — when you need support just trying to figure out what steps to take next.

It’s a lot, I know.

And I’m not sharing this to freak you out on top of everything else — no, to the contrary. I want to help you face the reality that this is hard, but you can play an active role in taking control of this.

It’s true.

First of all, there are a few ways to quantify ‘cost’ and it’s hard to see it when you are initially staring down a divorce.

I want you to remember that there is a price to leaving and one to staying...a steep one.

There’s also a price to getting triggered, coming unhinged, reacting, or burying your head in the sand for the rest of your life. There is a price to shrinking in an unhealthy relationship. Remember, you are here for a reason.

But I can promise you, the mamas who show up to divorce differently not only transform the experience and outcomes of their divorce process — they save on legal fees, achieve better settlements and mitigate suffering for all. And what’s more, they rediscover themselves and learn to move in new ways in life.

There’s a lot at stake during this time — and the sooner you can get through it, the better. The sooner you get clear about what you are going to fight for and what you aren’t, the better. But it’s all the hiccups, delays, fighting and upset along the way that prolong a divorce. And trust me there is a price to pay for that both emotionally and financially.

The good news is that can be avoided.

Are you ready to take control of your divorce before it takes control of you?

I know divorce isn’t exactly a feel-good experience, but you can feel good about HOW you navigate it all — and you can save time, money and your sanity while you are at it.

When we commit to making a change, we never really know what is going to pop up because healing has its own timing. I witness this every day and it’s incredibly powerful and moving.

I want to share a real story to drive this home. Recently one of the mamas in our program — someone who really leaned into this healing journey with all of its unexpected twists and turns, who also invested in getting the support she and her kids needed, said this of our program:

“Of all the money I spent during divorce, this was the best investment by far.” 

This was all new territory for her. She had never invested in herself in this way, but it transformed the trajectory of her divorce, and she even came up with a financial strategy that resulted in a sudden and swift resolution after what was becoming a runaway train.

This is the power of clarity, support, worthiness — and it all led to a new chapter of freedom.

Your legal bills may be steep, but it doesn’t have to cost you your wellbeing. And your wellbeing can inform your legal bills! Read that again.

You are worthy of investment, and you are also worthy of taking charge of your destiny, healing and happiness. #priceless

If you’d like my help protecting your finances, your kids and your future during divorce, book a free strategy session with our team and let’s talk.

 
Quote card from certified divorce coach Kristen Noel with the message: There is s price to leaving and one to staying...a steep one.
 

Are you overwhelmed with the cost of divorce? Please share in the comments below…I’d love to hear and keep the conversation going.

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Divorce Without Destruction: A Conversation with Family Law Expert Jaime Davis

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