Winning in Divorce: Interview with Jackie Pilossoph for Divorced Girl Smiling

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Hey mamas, today I want to share something different with you...a conversation where I had the mic flipped on me and was a guest on the Divorced Girl Smiling podcast. Their fearless leader and founder, Jackie Pilossoph, wanted to talk to me about an article I had written on redefining ‘winning’ in divorce (which is near and dear to my heart) — so I wanted to make sure that I shared it here with you.

It’s an important reframe, recalibrater and reminder of what your real priorities are in this often messy and painful process. And it will help you stay on track and not get triggered and detoured endlessly.

We often associate divorce wins in obvious ways — with custody, finances, settlements and the division of assets.

But true winning is about so, so, so much more...

Winning is living. It’s coming back alive. It’s being present with your children. It’s feeling good in your skin. It’s feeling aligned with your intuition. 

It’s being able to make decisions from a calm, collected and grounded place. 

It’s being able to regulate your nervous system. 

It’s being able to change the energy of your house. 

It’s being able to show up the way you want to show up for the things that matter most to you. It’s about feeling alive again and free to be YOU.

And I know that it’s hard to see that in the mess of divorce or in the chaos of considering one, but I encourage you to reconsider your goals and specifically your wins — the ones that are unfolding right now.

It isn’t winning to drain your bank accounts with legal fees, endlessly fighting back and forth.

It isn’t winning to lose your health and vitality in the process.

It isn’t winning to be up all night worrying about bills and the future — or losing yourself in a continuous fit of rage, easily triggered or slumping into a pile of despair.

It isn’t winning to witness your kids spiraling down or having no patience with them.

And it certainly isn’t winning to squeeze your needs right out of the equation. I’m talking about caring for yourself and honoring your needs. This isn’t something to deal with later.  

True winning is so much bigger than bank accounts and legal docs...it is about owning and activating your intuition — learning to trust yourself — and there is no greater prize than that.

At the end of the day, only you can decide what ‘winning’ truly means to you. When you close your eyes, calm your nervous system, take in a big expansive slow breath — what do you see? More time laughing, more time being present with your kids, more time being unapologetically you? These are feelings not things. Yes, more of that please. That is winning

And mothers just like you are doing just that. They are divorcing smarter, healing faster, protecting their kids and reclaiming their power...oh, and their wins! They are also saving time, money and heartache as they go.

That’s winning. That’s divorcing differently. That’s an Intuitive Divorce. 

I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I had having it!