A Wonder Woman Divorce

Admittedly, divorce isn’t typically synonymous with feeling super empowered. It’s usually quite the opposite, right? A time of tremendous dis-empowerment. But I’m here to tell you that’s the old narrative of divorce, that’s an old script and you’re the author of this chapter and all those to come.

I don’t take those words or divorce lightly. I don’t expect you to see or feel that way right now, but I witness it every day with the women I coach — the ones who lean in and activate their intuition, inner wisdom and heart.

Now don’t think for one second that means they don’t stand in their power while doing it! To the contrary. Think Lynda Carter, Wonder Woman circa late 1970’s. I want you to channel the superhero within you. She’s there...just waiting to be unleashed.

Let’s take a step back for a moment. If you are doubting there’s a superhero within you...let me point out where you’ve already shown up as her. First off, you birthed babies! Women do miraculous things every day and just carry on business as usual...just another day at the office.

You run businesses, households, families, communities. You take on birthday parties, meal prep, soccer practice, car-pooling, scheduling, holidays, laundry, vacations, homework and bedtime all in any given day.  And you do it with a smile on your face — not to mention how you are faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Yeah...I’m talking to you!

Hey, this doesn’t get to be reserved for Superman alone! Was any of the above on his to-do list?! But I digress.

The problem is that you not only take on everything, you make it seem easy — so everyone else sits back and allows you to. Meanwhile, the truth is that you are exhausted, depleted, feel like you are suffocating and don’t recognize yourself any longer.

Ring any bells?

This isn’t a good setup for life or divorce. You’ve got some big decisions to make and some tough conversations to have — and accordingly you’ll have some BIG feelings emerging along with it. That’s why I always beat this drum...HOW you get through this matters.

You may not be able to control many of the circumstances swirling about you, but you can control how you take care of yourself, how you reach out for support and how you embrace the fact that you are worthy of nurturing.

And another thing — you are allowed to live while divorcing. You are allowed to still have fun, to laugh and be playful — and to make room for parts of yourself that have long been shoved aside, to reemerge.

Speaking of laughing...

I want to tell you about something that one of the wonderful mamas in our group coaching program shared with us in class recently.

First off, as I always say, our class is sacred space for mamas to connect to their tribe, to come as they are in all the feels — to be held, witnessed and supported. It’s where we keep it real, without judgment, without shame, without guilt. And where we are lifted through laughter and tears.

While the mamas are all in different places in their divorce process — some preparing to share with their spouses they want a divorce and others who are well in the weeds of negotiations — suffice it to say, there are ups, downs and all-arounds to navigate.

This mama told us about a theater practice that actors employ when they are feeling nervous or lacking confidence before a big performance. Hmmm. Sound familiar?

You know what they do? They strike a pose; a Wonder Woman pose.

Imagine the stance: hands on hips, shoulders back, chest pushed forward...exuding confidence. Remember, when Lynda Carter struck the pose, she was about to go into her famous spin...and to transform.

Same goes for you in your divorce, mama. When you are having a shitty moment, feeling undermined, afraid, unsettled — strike a pose. Breathe. Laugh. Remember who you are.

We joked in class that mamas should wear their Wonder Woman panties (and I found some on Amazon, fyi) when they are going to have 'the talk' with their ex or show up for a court appearance, mediation or any other triggering moment.

As silly as it may sound initially, when we strike a pose or turn on some music and break out into dance, shaking off the funk  of the day (or the divorce) — we are moving energy, we are exhaling stress, releasing pent up combustion and telling the cells of our body that we can be scared AND do scary things (I.e. face our own fears) and advocate for ourselves.

It’s so important to find ways to interrupt deflating patterns of thought and behavior.

Go ahead...buy yourself some Wonder Woman underwear or strike a pose in the mirror before heading into a triggering situation. What do you have to lose?

...a little stress, strain and unnecessary suffering?

If you are suffering in any way mama, life is beckoning to you. Something needs to change. Something needs to heal. Something needs to be supported.

And that’s YOU.

Are you ready to reclaim your power?

Are you ready to say YES to life?

Are you ready to transform?

It’s what I help women, just like you, do every day. And nothing gives me greater pleasure than to see them activate all that has been dormant within them for far too long.

I’m just a phone call away if you want what they’re having.

And in the meantime, give it a whirl and unleash that fabulous, intuitive, badass Wonder Woman in you! It’s our little secret. [wink]