Your Future Self is Calling

It’s for you...yes, you. It’s your future self. And yes, she specifically asked for YOU.

I’m not kidding. Nor am I making light of your current circumstances awash with emotion and vulnerability. It’s exactly why I want to share this with you now.

I know what it feels like to be where you are. I know our circumstances and the details of our personal lives may vary, but feeling raw, cracked open and vulnerable is raw, cracked open and vulnerable no matter how you slice it.

I frequently see prompts asking, “what would you say to your younger self.” And while I value that exploration, I want you to look forward and consider your future self a moment instead.

What do you think she is trying to tell you?

Imagine that she is reaching back to you to take your hand, and she whispers, “trust me, you’ve got this. You’re ready, otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”

Do you pull your hand back and declare, “No, I don’t and I’m NOT ready!” Or do you lean in and exhale as you place your hand in hers?

You are supported, mama. And she isn’t lying. If you are here standing on the precipice of a divorce or in the midst of one — you know there’s no turning back.

There is no amount of denial that can hide what you see, know, feel and can no longer tolerate.

We may agree to all that, but then you look around and start freaking out?

How am I going to do this?

How can I afford this?

What do I say to my kids?

Am I messing them up forever?

Will I ever be happy again?

Ask yourself what evidence are you gathering? Evidence to support your heart’s desires and dreams or evidence to sabotage you before you even get started?

We don’t realize how easy and often we throw in the towel and do just that...undermine ourselves.

But beneath all the cheerleading is some emotional healing — and no matter what anyone tries to tell you, no matter how much glitter they try to toss on the process — divorce is hard. Emotional healing is hard, but so is birthing babies and look what you did mama.

When you see your beautiful children, you likely don’t conjure up all the painful birthing moments. No instead you focus on how becoming a mother was likely the greatest moment of your life and has shaped this person you’ve become.

You’d likely go to the ends of the earth to protect your kids...am I right?

Well, now I want you to consider sharing a little of that with yourself as you birth a new version of YOU.

Hey, it’s hard to see your way out of divorce. It’s hard to trust that you are making the connections in your life to old pain and maybe even trauma because you are ready.

And sure this journey through divorce will look and feel differently to everyone — it can be as unique as your DNA. Even so, there are similarities that all mamas on the other side of divorce can look back and agree upon.

It starts with 2 things: awareness and acceptance. Both will mitigate your suffering.

What do I mean by this?

Just notice what is coming up — what feelings are rising to the surface? Be prepared for emotions you may have shoved aside and buried to make an appearance. Allow them in and accept that they are here for a reason. Then trust that you are ready to handle whatever is tossed your way.

It’s true. You can try to deny what a badass you are simply because you are suffering and in pain, but you can only hide from yourself for so long. Remember what I said? Your future self is waiting.

Some of this may not come as a welcomed bit of information. You may be feeling rattled and unsettled and like you are at maximum capacity, but I really want you to sink into knowing that if it’s coming up — you are ready.

Your divorce is an undeniable opportunity to leave more than an unhealthy relationship behind. This isn’t all about your soon-to-be-ex. This is way more about YOU.

There is a lot of life that happens between court dates, filings and signing on the dotted line...a lot. How you will navigate this is directly related to the support you receive, how you nurture yourself and how much you can move through, heal and release.

Yes, it’s about the division of assets and co-parenting plans — but it’s also about emotional healing and getting yourself through this in the best state possible so that you can connect important dots that prevent you from repeating old patterns of behavior. And so that you can reclaim the life you desire.

Close your eyes a moment and consider what that would look and feel like. Where are you? What are you doing? How are you feeling?

Don’t let the noise of your head get in the way.

Tell me more...

Are you laughing?

Are you playing with your kids?

Are you feeling healthy and vibrant?

Are you feeling empowered and inspired?

I never know where a mama’s journey is going to take her, and I’ve been incredibly privileged to walk beside and witness so many women come back to themselves. The bottom line is that the more a woman shows up for herself, the more she transforms and heals.

No, it’s never easy...but it is temporary because once you see it, you can do something about it. And once you do something about it, you are free to go — free to leave it behind, free to change history, free to create new legacy with your kids and your new life chapter.

Yes, this is a path to true freedom. This is what it means to divorce differently and to harness the power of your intuition.

I know something about this has your future self jumping up and down fist pumping and screaming, “YES!”

Radical self-awareness will set you free!

If you are feeling all over the place right now — if you feel like your emotions are taking you on a rollercoaster ride — don’t despair. You aren’t failing...you are feeling. And feeling reveals what needs to be healed.

You can’t heal from an unhealthy relationship with your spouse until you heal the unhealthy relationship to self.

Recently, a mama was sharing why she was interested in joining our coaching program and I think her words sum it up perfectly:  

“When I envision my future self I want to be able to look back and know that I did everything I could to ensure that I made the best decisions for myself and my kids.”

What’s your future self saying?

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If you’d like to create the best divorce experience and outcomes for you and your kids, book a free divorce strategy session with our team to explore your situation and lay out a better path forward.