Are You Worth It?

Let’s dive into 3 of the biggest reasons women navigating divorce get derailed — fear, finances and worthiness — and the reason they are all intertwined — and how that leads to sidestepping what they know they need.

Recently I envisioned a powerful metaphor that I have to share with you because I think it may help you see this all through a new lens.

Imagine yourself standing on a loooong line. Have you ever waited to get into a private club or a VIP event with a bouncer and a red velvet rope blocking the entrance and controlling who comes in and when?

You wait patiently because you are know where you are going, you know what you want. Even though there may be many people before you, you stay calm. You tell yourself that your turn will come...eventually.

But how long will you have to wait?

How long will your life be on hold in the meantime?

What condition will you be in when you finally get there?

Will you have regrets because you waited too long — and didn’t explore another way of looking at it all?

Now let me ask you a question. What would it feel like to just declare:

“ENOUGH! I’m tired of waiting. Tired of everyone else’s timeline. Tired of everyone’s opinions and directives that don’t feel aligned. Tired of ignoring what I want and need. Tired of playing small, stuffing feelings and truths down. Tired of not knowing what to do next. I want to move to the head of the line...and I want to do it NOW.”

Kind of amazing to imagine, right?

You know there has to be a better way.

Are you tired of waiting? Tired of inaction? Tired of feeling stuck?

Good.

Then let me ask you:

Are you worth it, mama?

Are you worthy of investment?

Are you worthy of support?

Are you worthy of nurturing?

Are you worthy of moving to the head of the line, taking a stand for yourself, and declaring what you want?

I hope you are giving me a Hell Yes, I am!

Sidenote: Whether that is advocating for yourself in your divorce or when faced with any other issue or desire in your life, it’s all the same.

The bottom line is that only you really know what you need. Remember, this is your life.

Just know that your needs matter.

You matter.

How you divorce matters.

And at a time when everything feels like utter chaos, I know that it is financially triggering to even consider another expense.

Remember, I once stood where you stand. I know what it feels like to wake up in the middle of the night wrestling fears. Finance was a huge one for me.

Financial fears can be crippling and they can wrap their tentacles around you and squeeze tight. Then you remember, hey, I’m the one in charge here! I get to call the shots.

Would you go into surgery without a competent surgeon?

Would you buy a house from a builder that never built one before?

Would you start a new business without investing in hiring the right team and putting systems in place?

I think you get the picture. In other words, don’t sell yourself short, mama. And don’t expect yourself to know HOW to divorce. Just know HOW you want to feel and what you want to model for your kids. Get clear about your objectives.

Mothers put their needs at the bottom of the laundry basket every day. They sacrifice and try to muscle through, attending to everyone else. We falsely believe that in serving everyone else before ourselves, we are being ‘good’ spouses, mothers, daughters, co-workers, friends...until we hit rock bottom.

That’s not a good life or divorce strategy. That doesn’t set you up to make the best decisions you will be faced with.

While there are definite ways to save time, money and heartache during divorce — it’s going to require some level of investment.

And I repeat...you are worth it.

I bet you have no problem with:

Funding your kid’s needs, therapies, activities, camps

Paying for a family vacation

Investing in a house renovation or an auto repair

Right?

What about you? Are you worthy of an investment to get a better outcome and transform the experience of your divorce? Are you worthy of an investment that actually focuses on you and your healing as you figure the rest out?

Did you even know that you can do both simultaneously?

Hey, divorce is hard and it’s expensive and don’t let anyone tell you differently. But I promise you that not investing in self will only make it harder and more expensive...unnecessarily.

Consider what you need right now. What would feel supportive and nurturing?

No one really warns you about all the ‘in-between’ moments in divorce where you are contending with so many feelings and new realities, so many conversations with your kids that you never had before, so many things to explain and put into place.

Yes, it’s a lot.

You can get overwhelmed by it all OR you can learn new ways of being, acquire new tools and strategies to navigate this all in a new way — one that allows you to get through this difficultly and pain and also heal and envision a new future for you and your kids.

It’s possible.

I’m actually living proof of it.

I couldn’t see this life I’m in now, back then in the beginning of my divorce. But I sure know what is possible and it’s why I love what I do more than anything.

I’ve got the best job in the world — every day I guide women back to themselves. And in doing so I remind them that they are worthy of so much more than they allow.

Don’t be afraid to fill your own cup. And if nothing else...allow yourself to flex your worthiness muscle each and every day until it becomes a new way of being.

This isn’t selfish, mama — in fact, it’s quite the opposite. Everyone benefits when you can  pour from a full pitcher.

—

If you’d like to get off the emotional rollercoaster, take control of your divorce and save time, money and heartache for you and your kids, book a free divorce strategy session where we can explore your situation and layout a better path through divorce.